Deep Black Hole, An MBAV fanfic
by iamtheoutcast
Summary: Ethan is falling into deep depression.He's started cutting himself and throwing up after the rare meals he eats, hearing the voices of those who hate him ringing in his ears. The only person who notices is Benny, Lord o' The Striped Shirts, upbeat, happy Benny Weir. Can he save his best friend? Or is E too far gone into this deep, black hole for Benny to reach? BETHAN!Slash
1. Chapter 1

No one else seemed to notice anything wrong with Ethan. Nobody but Benny.

The first time he thought that there was something... _off _about him was lunchtime, about two months after Sarah became a fully-fledged vamp. He stood up before taking even a bite of his sandwich and tossed his whole tray in the trash. That was really weird, E _never _skipped lunch. It seemed to Ethan, though, that to keep people from teasing him, he should lose weight. He wanted to get rid of the sneering, laughing, hateful voices that swirled about his mind.

_Fag!_ One would cackle.

_Freak! _Another would shriek.

_Why don't you do us all a favor and just go kill yourself?_ He needed to stop hearing them, so he stopped eating.

But of course, Benny didn't hear the voices. So, he decided to wait a week, and if E wasn't better, he'd talk to him...

* * *

><p>Two weeks later, Ethan was definitely <em>not <em>better. Had he always been this skinny? Benny wondered. Had his voice always sounded so scratchy? Benny knew he needed to talk to him, but why embarrass him? So he'd confront him when they were alone, he decided.

But he was never alone with Ethan, someone was always hovering. Erica needed to make fun of his shirt, Rory needed to joke about his hair, Sarah needed help with algebra and a new bottle of blood substitute. Benny knew Erica was just being a jerk, and Rory was just goofing off, but the words for Ethan cut deeper than a sword. They joined the blizzard of voices, loud and clear in the storm. Benny noticed he kept tugging his sleeve down, and it made him suspicious, but he was probably just being paranoid...

Finally, in English, his worst fears were confirmed. They'd been told to write a poem about absolutely anything, so Benny had written his about Ninja-Zombies 4(You said anything!). Ethan Morgan, though? His poem made Benny want to cry like a baby girl.

_She paints a pretty picture, but the story has a twist._

_Her paintbrush is a razor, and her canvas is her wrist._

_She paints a pretty picture in a color that's blood red,_

_While using her sharp paintbrush, she ends up finally dead._

_The pretty picture's fading quite slowly on her arm,_

_Blood no longer runs through her, she can no longer do harm._

_Yes, she paints a pretty picture, but the picture has a twist._

_You see, her mind was the razor, and her heart was her wrist._

Needless to say, he got an A, but on his way back to his seat, this girl Becca stuck out her leg and sent him sprawling.

"Emo freak," She sneered. Ethan looked like he might cry as he sat down. Benny worriedly tried to meet his eyes, but no luck. Ethan was falling into a deep black hole, and he was nearly too far gone to reach.

* * *

><p>"Ethan, open the door!" Benny rapped loudly on the bathroom door, knowing what was on the other side. What kind of idiot calls an anorexic person fat?! He made a mental note to kill Erica as soon as he got Ethan away from any and all blades...<p>

"No!" Screeched Ethan. Benny winced. He didn't sound too good... "I look gross, and I'm not coming out!" Benny glanced at his own scarred arms and remembered when he was going through a similar situation. He knew that nothing he said would make a difference. No one could understand except him, but Ethan wouldn't even look at himself. And how could Benny try to help if E wouldn't let him in? Then again, Ethan had managed to pull him out of his depression without even knowing it. He sat down against the door, making a silent vow to save Ethan whether he wanted it or not.

* * *

><p>Benny sat outside Ethan's bedroom with tears in his eyes. He'd been sitting out here for over an hour trying to get him out, but all he'd managed was having E slide a bloody rag under the door. He'd even tried a therapeutic technique he'd learned from the counselor-<em>If I gave you a diary and a pen, what would you write?- <em>But Ethan's reply was pretty heartbreaking.

_'How about, Dear Diary, I'm fat and ugly and my best friend won't leave me alone and the whole world hates me! Everyone would be better off if I didn't exist!_' Benny had promised to help him, though...

Suddenly, an idea popped into his head- There were a few people who might be able to help...

* * *

><p><strong><em>Okay, so I don't know why but I got this idea for depressed Ethan and I just had to write it down! I've got a song that I'm trying to work into this, do you think that's a good idea? Anyway, review, review! I lovelovelove you! Btw, that poem E read is called She Paints a Pretty Picture and I have absolutely no idea where it really PLEASE!<em>**


	2. Chapter 2

Benny dialed Sarah's number with nimble fingers.

_Briiiiiiiiiiing..._

_C'mon, pick up! _Thought Benny. There was a sharp click on the other end.

"Hey, Benny! What's up?" Benny breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Sarah's voice.

"E locked himself in his room, and he's cutting, and he won't come out! I'm worried about him. Can you come?"

"Oh, God! Why didn't you call me before?! I'll be right there!" There was a beep on the other end as Sarah hung up, and a ding a moment later as she rang the doorbell. Vampire speed- forgot all about that.

He dialed Erica's number. Reluctantly. He invited Sarah in as the phone rang once, twice, three times. Just as he was about to give up-

"_What?!"_ Benny suddenly wished he hadn't called her at all; hot as she was, she couldn't help as much as E needed, and she'd been insulting him all month...

"Look, Ethan needs help, but don't bother coming if you're just going to make it worse." And with that, he shut off his phone. Sarah raised her eyebrow, confused.

"Since when do you call _Erica _for comfort? Comforting Erica is an oxymoron." Benny rolled his eyes- and he'd thought Rory was clueless!

"He's depressed. I've been depressed, you've been depressed, and Erica's been depressed. It's the only thing that convinces me she has emotions at all." Sarah nods, understanding. She almost looks in pain...

Shit, blood.

"Sarah, maybe you shouldn't be here?"

"No, I'm fine. But I should probably tell Erica to grab a bite before she comes." She shot out the open door before Benny could reply. He rolled his eyes and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen- he had work to do, anyway. Benny thought of poor, sweet Ethan being so upset that he'd make himself bleed, that he'd scar those pretty arms of his with a knife. He felt closer to Ethan than ever; he couldn't imagine a world without him.

Scanning the room for anything helpful to E, he saw an acoustic guitar, and a video camera. Hmm...

_Let's call that Plan B, _He thought with a grin.

_Knock, knock! _

Benny leapt to his feet and peered through the peephole at Erica and Sarah, and waved them into the living room. Sarah and Erica were frantically downing as many bottles of substitute as they could.

"If we're gonna be in a room with Ethan, this is completely necessary," Explained Sarah.

"So, what are we doing exactly, dork?" Benny glared at Erica- how the hell had he ever found her attractive?!

"If you say a single insulting thing to him, I'll kill you, vamp or not. Got it?!" She nodded, and Benny wordlessly spun on his heel and walked toward E's room.

_Oh little darling, I feel for you..._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Major brownie points if you get that song reference! I'm trying hard to work that into the story if you hadn't guessed! It's one of my favorite songs! It's called Little Darling by Wes Pickering, and if you've never heard it go listen to it because it's awesome! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU PLEASE REVIEW!<em>**


	3. Chapter 3

Benny stared at the sight that lay before him when he picked the lock on E's bedroom door. Laying in a loose fetal position, a tear-streaked face and bloody arms, was Ethan. His more-than-a-best-friend, silently dying inside because a bunch of stupid teenagers made fun of him.

And what had he done?

He'd _watched. _Ethan lost pounds, skipping meal after meal, but when he looked in the mirror...

_Nothing._ Benny knew it wasn't E's fault that he was so far gone. It was Benny's own fault, and for once he was going to fix it.

Without thinking, he pulled the skinny boy into his lap and gently wiped away his tears on his shirt. Ethan weakly tried to push him away, but Benny could tell that he was both too weak to get rid of him and that he didn't want him gone. He just didn't want Benny to worry, and if he pushed him away ity would be so much easier to say goodbye.

"Ethan, Sarah's here, and Erica-" At the sound of Erica's name, Ethan's head snapped up and he looked like a scared, sick little child. Benny winced- his neck was so thin that he was sure it might break if E moved too fast. He just looked so... fragile...

"W-what does sh-she want?! I g-get it... I'm ugly and worthless and I should kill m-mys-self..." Erica winced as bloodstained tears began to fall from E's already wet eyes., but Benny just glared at her. She was a big part of the reason poor little Ethan was hiding in here in the first place. Why was it that she didn't care until Ethan already wanted to kill himself?

"E, we're going to talk to you, and you're going to listen, understand?" Benny sounded so firm that he surprised even himself, and though Ethan didn't respond, he allowed Benny to pick him up and carry him downstairs to the couch. Erica started to sit down on his other side, but Benny sent her a look that said, plainly, _touch him and I'll kill you, _and she backed off.

Sarah took a seat in front of the couch, obviously she understood that Ethan wasn't exactly being trusting right that second. Benny rubbed sooting circles in the smaller boy's back and was alarmed to find that he could feel his spine and the opposite side of his body as well. He was literally nothing but skin and bones! Benny took his hand away, scared of breaking him.

"I look so fucking fat..." Muttered Ethan, trying to push in an imaginary fat roll. Benny did a double take- _what?! _It was as if when Ethan looked at himself, he saw his body through a funhouse mirror.

"Ethan, look at me," He said, not giving him much of a choice as he took his chin in his hand and forced his eyes to focus on his face.

"You're killing yourself, E. I know that you won't believe me, but I get it-" Ethan cut him off with a bitter snort.

"Wow, there's a new one! I _get it! _I _want to help! _And then they tell you they'd throw a party if you died!" He turned away and buried his face in his hands. Benny wanted to hug him tight and comfort him, but he was still afraid he might crush the little brunette.

"Besides," He added quietly. "No one wants me around anyway... Who cares if I do kill myself, B?" Unthinkingly, Benny reached out and took his boney hand in his.

"I care, alright?" He turned over his own arm and put the crisscross of angry red scars under his anorexic best friend's nose. "You made me stop, E." Ethan looked up.

"But this is different, Benny. I'm trapped in the dark and my light just went out. The world would be better off without me..." He turned and ran, sobbing,back into his bedroom. Benny sighee, rubbing his temples.

"Okay, Plan B?" He murmured, standing and snatching a camera off the endtable.

_Oh little darling, have you lost your way?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Oh, poor E! I bet I'm killing you with all this 'Plan B' stuff, huh? Lol! Anyway, Love you, Love you, Please review!<strong>_


	4. Chapter 4

Benny grabbed a notebook and pencil, then ran across the room to the acoustic guitar he'd seen earlier. Words bombarded his brain, and he messily scrawled them down on paper- he hoped desperately that this would work. He tossed his phone to Sarah.

"Call Rory," He ordered. "Tell him to come." He shot Erica a glare.

"You can just leave! You're not helping him," Erica pulled out her fangs threateningly, but Benny didn't care. Right now, helping Ethan was his top priority, and she could just go jump off a cliff if she was going to get in his way.

"How is that dork going to help? I'm not leaving just because you call _him."_ Benny rolled his eyes and shot her the bird.

"You've got two strikes. One more, and you're dead. Now, shut up!"

He continued writing down everything he wanted Ethan to know in the hopes that he could bring the light back to him...

* * *

><p>When Rory arrived, he explained Plan B to everyone and put Sarah in charge of the video camera. She was really the only trustworthy one there.<p>

He was suddenly really glad he'd taken guitar lessons last year...

* * *

><p>So, what was Plan B? To actually show Ethan how bad things would be if he was gone. The only problem was him actually watching and listening. It was a long shot, in truth, but it was his only chance.<p>

Benny picked the lock for the second time that day and took a deep breath before swinging open the door.

It was even worse then the first time. E was sitting on his bed with a razor pressed to his wrist, crying, but it seemed he'd run out of tears. Benny rushed across the room and grabbed his hands, tossing the blade into the corner and scooping Ethan easily into his arms. It was way easier to pick him up than it should have been.

He carefully set him down in the bathroom, wetting a washcloth and pressing it to the cuts on Ethan's wrist. E tried to squirm away from the sting, but Benny held him easily in place and washed away the blood. He stared at Ethan and sighed- he really thought nobody cared...

Silently, he pulled him into a hug, careful not to squeeze too tightly. He felt the actual shape of his heart beating against his chest. It was like he was made of paper, he was so little and thin.

Benny carried him downstairs and set him gently on the floor, curling up next to him and brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes.

"E, can you do something for me?" He whispered, scared to talk too loudly. Ethan's head bobbed slightly, and Benny took it as a yes, rather than assuming he was just too weak to hold up his head.

"Watch this, and listen, okay?" Another bob. Erica rolled her eyes. Benny held up three fingers and pointed toward the door, and with a huff, Erica stormed out. E jumped as she slammed the door, but he moved his dull gaze to Benny's face. Benny wondered how long he'd had a smile that lied, a mask of happiness that didn't reach his eyes.

He nodded at the TV screen and pushed play on the VCR. He grabbed the acoustic, and he sang the words Ethan needed to hear. The screen flickered on, and an image of Sarah's scarred legs came on. E looked shocked- he hadn't known she'd gone through this, too...

"_Oh, little darling have you lost your way?_

_Oh little darling, I feel for you._

_I know it hurts but don't believe in lies,_

_Your eyes are playing tricks on you!"_ The video continued changing, showing pictures of Benny, Sarah, and one of Erica. There were a few of the jocks making fun of Rory...

"_You try to control,_

_Try to be beautiful,_

_But trying will let you down." _The slideshow switched to pictures of Ethan. Ethan, thin as a toothpick in a group picture; Ethan with cuts all over his shins at school..

"_But whatever your lot, I pray that you'll sing_

_It is well,_

_Oh little darling, if you could only feel_

_All of the love that we feel for you..."_ A photo of Rory, Sarah, Erica, Benny and Ethan appeared on the screen.

"_Oh little darling, you would be amazed._

_How many prayers are prayed for you._

_You try to control,_

_Try to be beautiful!"_ It showed a picture of Ethan in front of a mirror, looking angry and tearful. Benny didn't remember taking a lot of these...

"_But trying will let you down._

_But whatever your lot,_

_I pray that you'll sing it is well..._

_And when you don't have the voice to sing,_

_We will be singing for you!"_ Benny, hugging Ethan to his chest as he cried.

"_It is well with my soul!"_The video ended, and Benny turned to Ethan. Taking his hand in his, he said,

"Do you get it, E? We _do _care about you," E didn't reply, but he suddenly leapt on Benny and hugged him. Benny gave him a light squeeze.

"Love you, Benny..."

"Love you too, E..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Cheesiest chapter in the history of EVER! It's not quite over yet, though! Stay tuned... <strong>_

_**BTW, I FINALLY GOT LITTLE DARLING WORKED INTO THE STORY! OMFG GO LISTEN TO THIS SONG!**_


	5. Chapter 5

The next day in school, Benny refused to leave Ethan's side. He forced him to eat a few bites of his sandwich, and wouldn't let him go to the bathroom afterward no matter how much he begged. Erica came up to them in the hall and apologized, and Sarah, Rory and Benny practically killed anyone who dared to mess with E. Once, Becca called out,  
>"Hey, Weir! Having fun with your <em>boyfriend?<em> Ugly faggots!" But Benny just smirked and said,

"If Ethan was my boyfriend, at least he's better looking than _you! _You know, I think I have a theory as to why you're so mean," He went on, "It's because you know that in a few years, after your glory days of being a slut, you'll be nothing more than a burlap sack with fake boobs working in a strip joint to pay the electric bill and anxiously awaiting your high school reunion so you can bang your ex and tease the nerds, only to find that your ex is married and the nerds and geeks are billionaires." And he led Ethan away from the speechless Regina George before he could even say 'WOW'.

All day long, Ethan used Benny as a sort of shield; using him to block the voices. Slowly, he realized that what he'd said earlier wasn't true- his light hadn't gone out. _Benny _was his light, and he'd never leave him in the dark.

Finally, in math class, he tore a slip of paper out of his bag and pretended to take notes, but instead he wrote a note to Benny and slid it across the table when the teacher wasn't looking.

_Benny, hypothetical question: would you hate me if I was_ _gay?_ Benny glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and scrawled something out on the piece of paper.

_E, I don't think it's physically possible for me to hate you for being gay when I've liked you since we were five,_ Ethan smiled and wrote his reply.

_So, newsflash. I'm gay._

_Neat!_

_Um..._

_If you're gay, will you go out with me?_

_YESYESYES! But YOU'RE telling Sarah, Rory and Erica._

_Okay... Can you deal with getting teased for it?_

_As long as you don't ditch me._ Benny grinned and- right in the middle of math!- he planted a kiss on his cheek. There were some giggles and _eeewww!_s, a couple of _awww!_s, but Ethan suddenly didn't care what anyone thought of him.

Because somebody did care, and that somebody was Benny Weir, pulling him steadily out of the deep black hole.

* * *

><p>Ethan sighed and touched the shining gold band around his ring finger.<p>

Ethan Weir. It had a nice ring to it, no pun intended. But the vows and certificate, the new last name, it was all symbolic. He'd always belonged to Benny. Benny, who saved his life countless ways with the perfect group of friends beside him.

Sarah was going to be the maid of honor, because who else?!

Rory was going to be the best 'man', even though he was still just the goofy little kid they loved.

And Erica... would be there.

None of it mattered, though, as much as the fact that Ethan was standing in the light with Benny by his side, in sickness and in health, forever...

* * *

><p><em><strong>OMFG THEY'RE ENGAGED! ACK! I LOVE LIFE! CHEESIEST ENDING TO THE CHEESIEST STORY EVER YAY! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU PLEASE REVIEW!<strong>_


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